Joel's Transmission

I love blogs! Blogs are one of the most amazing relatively new parts of the culture that is defined by the world wide web. People everywhere jump online and post their ideas on politics, religion, history, science, culture--anything! From new moms documenting their families with pictures and videos to political radicals proclaiming the party line--the millions can fire off their brains into the vastness of inter-space. And like any good American tradition, it's absolutely free!

So I am jumping into this phenomenon that I have been observing much more than participating in so that I may document, share, and flesh out the ideas that dominate and define my life and my living--to put into writing the life, the friends, the philosophies, the themes, the dreams, the communities, that are cradling me.

When I decided to create an 'official' blog, life wasn't going exactly great. Jen and I had bought a car in hopes that we could have a low payment and little maintenance costs while living within our means and paying off some debts. About a year later, the transmission decided to go out. We knew that the cost would be upwards of three thousand--money far outside our monthly pay and savings. Several mechanics and friends told us to contact the maker and file a claim for aid(since the transmission should not have failed). As it turned out, if our transmission had been replaced when we bought the car, it would have been under warranty but after a couple of weeks of deliberating with the maker and claims department, Jen and I didn't receive an extra penny or an apology. I was enraged. I asked myself why I would ever buy a car from this company again (they make some of the best and most reliable cars). I knew I could make this company pay if I was persistent in vindicating my unanswered pleas.

Emotional and stressed to the point of having high blood pressure and feeling like I was going to vomit, I embarked on a trip to see a friend in Oklahoma. Wondering where the money was going to come from and how to treat this company weighed my mind. Needless to say, I was paying no attention to my speed and hit 81 in a 60. When the cop pulled me over, I was on the verge of tears. The few times I have found myself in that position, I usually smile and say, "I know" but this time was different. I begged the officer for mercy and told him why I was speeding--that I was upset about my wife's car and the transmission I had to replace. He laughed. Then he proceeded in the most condescending despising tone and 'tude I had not known in years. I was humiliated.

As I pulled off, my heart pounding out of my chest, I knew there was only one thing I was able to do. The echo in my head spoke soft, "forgive and you will be forgiven." I made the hard choice to loosen my grip on the sword held within my heart. I prayed and thanked Christ for the reminder--the reminder that this is what I do--I let it go because I was let go. This was a reminder of a much deeper pain I had felt before and a greater debt I once had to forgive. I asked the Lord to please help me to always remember that when one asks for mercy, that I would gladly give it. Man can be unjust and unmerciful but let not that man be me!

I met up with my friend and vented my issues to him and told him about my resolve. Before I left, he gave me the money to pay for the ticket (among other generous acts that he did). He knew too that this is our way--the way of the cross--pain & forgiveness for enduring joys in a God who does not abandon us.

So this is my transmission. This is why I am blogging. That I might work out the joys of this life that is the Christ life--living life while following after Christ. One day, I just might catch up to him.



I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten. Joel 2:25